3 Tips On How Forgiveness Can Help You Prepare For Marriage

*Previously Posted*

Marriage is hard. At least that’s what I hear from those who are married. And you know what? I believe them. Working at your relationship requires nonstop input and intentionality. Disappointment and mistakes will occur, because we are flawed people. Getting through bad moments and working toward the good, often helps marriages survive under pressure.

Three days ago, I was stunned by a defining moment. Going about my normal routine, I came across news that a close high school friend passed away. It had been a couple of years since we’d spoke very briefly. Plans to have dinner and catch up were turned down at the last minute…… by me. Recalling a moment of great hurt that occurred more than ten years ago, gave me false motivation to rekindle the relationship when I was ready.


DAY 252/365

However, eventually never came.

 Upon hearing the news, the realization that I held a grudge for so long was now senseless!

When we allow past hurts to control us and withhold forgiveness, we ALWAYS hurt ourselves.

Ultimately we miss out on thriving in life and truly being a blessing to those around us.

Forgiveness is hard….but not impossible. Unknowingly, I allowed my pride and the enemy to keep us from reconciliation. If we want our marriages to survive, thrive, and be an example of God’s love….forgiveness is a must.

Although my friend is no longer with us, God provided lifelong lessons and reminders that will help us prepare for marriage and sustain our relationships:

  • Release your hurts to God: “Be angry and do not sin. Do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil” (Ephesians 4:26-27). By holding onto our pain, we allow the enemy to be in control. This verse indicates our responsibility to let go of our offenses. How do we do this? Through prayer. We may be justified in feeling an array of emotions. However, we are not justified in holding onto them. We can trust that God is big enough to carry our pain and at the same time, love the hurt away.


  • Forgive as God has forgiven you: “And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses” (Mark 11:25). Don’t allow selective amnesia of God’s Grace to you, keep you from extending it to others. Keeping in mind that Jesus’ sacrifice was done for our sins of the past, present, and future should be humbling. Because of His selflessness and Love, He paid the price of unforgiveness. His commandment still holds true for us today. If we want to be forgiven by God, we must forgive others.


  • When you know better, do better: “There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the spirit” (Romans 8:1). I love how God forgives us when we just don’t know. By holding ourselves hostage to mistakes we’ve made along the way, we don’t allow God’s forgiveness in. By Letting His grace flow through our lives, pride is replaced with lessons of growth. And ultimately leading to repentance and transformation.

If we want to become a great spouse and have a marriage built in Christ, dealing with unforgiveness is a great place to start. And why not begin with the friendships in your life?

With Christ, forgiveness is more than possible…it’s freedom! Look at your current relationships. Are you stuck in the past?


How can I pray for you to find healing and freedom in Christ?



picture courtesy of Flickr -https://www.flickr.com/photos/m-ann-l_photography/

Posted on: January 23, 2017, by : admin

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